Slow Parenting Teens by Molly Wingate

Author:Molly Wingate
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: parenting teens, parenting, parenting books, teenage girls
Publisher: [email protected]

When Dad listens, the son talks. In the fast parenting scenario, Dad never let Steve explain what happened or take responsibility and ownership for his actions. The conversation is all about Dad’s fear and anger. He jumps in with preemptive directions before either of them knows what will be needed. Fast parents give advice and directions, never letting teens learn to do it themselves. And the fast parents are often wrong. Also notice Steve didn’t want to stay in the conversation. He called out of obligation and tolerated his dad until he could get off the phone.

The slow parenting scenario has Steve talking much more than Dad. By being quiet, Dad finds out more of what’s going on and how Steve is taking responsibility for the situation and learning some lessons. The school and the police will provide plenty of discipline and consequences; Dad chooses to remain in the relationship and be a safe place for his son to talk.

Teenagers will talk when their parents listen. When parents lecture, they miss the opportunity to learn about their teen and build a positive relationship. Adolescents are in a self-focused developmental stage, and most learn through experience, not from someone else’s stories—even yours. To listen well, parents must be genuinely curious about their children’s situations, feelings, thought processes, problem solving efforts, and desires. We urge you to practice listening well to your teens, so you can better steward them, respect their personalities, and catch them doing it right.

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